Someone please tell me it gets easier... :o/

So today was a mixed bag... Angie took her first real official steps. (walked across the room, like 10 steps)  she had been taking one or 2 all day, then chickening out and gradually as the day went on, she took more and more!  This makes me happy, proud and so sad all at the same time.. I hate that shes growing up so fast.  Also I had a rough day with Joel.. he just hasn't been himself these past few days.. today he kept pushing Angie down when she was trying to walk.. I gave him time outs, which he thought was a game, and laughed.. and then thought pushing Angie down, then getting a time out was our new game.. he has a hard time picking up my emotions.. he had no idea that i was mad.. he really thought we were playing.. and i couldn't get through to him, which was really frustrating.  He then went on a 2 hour stim kick.. and I couldn't snap him out of that either..plah doh saved the day.  He was just sooo dis regulated, and shaking, and spinning, and running/crashing/tensing up..  he seriously looks like a crazy person when he gets like that and I hate watching it and being sooo helpless.  I tried everything to re-direct him, usually music is my go too, it seemed to make it worse today. I hate thinking about whats going on in his head.. what could he possibly be thinking during these "fits".. he looks like hes going through so much, and his poor little self just cant handle it and he just starts acting crazy.  I HATE IT.  I'm at a loss about what to do about him pushing Angie down.  He really didnt pick up how mad I was.. (especially after he had done it repeatedly after me telling him not to) and then he'd laugh while in the time outs. and get up, so id have to carry him back.. (hes 40 lbs).. doing that over and over again is beyond exhausting.. physically and mentally.. and while I'm fighting w. him to stay in time out, Angie takes her first real steps across the room, and I missed it.. trying to deal with him. :o(  ::sigh:: just one of those days..  Then I had to drive about 40 minutes away to drop off photos for a client.. I had to bring both kids. They both fell asleep the whole ride there, which sucked because It obviously made for a rougher bed time.  But on the way home we were driving past one of my favorite restaurants.. (the chateau)  I was starving, the kids hadn't eaten.. I convinced myself that I could handle both kids in a restaurant by myself.. sounded like a good idea...just getting them into the restaurant alone was a project. there was no parking in the first 2 close lots, so i had to park in west bubble f*ck... rather then carrying Angie's heavy car seat I opted to pull her out, and carry her on my hip, while holding Joel's hand.. (and my purse and huge camera bag on my shoulder)  *I'm to scared to leave my camera in the car.  So we got in after a short walk, and wait to cross a ridiculously busy street.. wait to be seated.. I put Joel in a booster, Angie in the high chair.. we order.. and everything starts off fine.  Joel was coloring.. as was Angie.. gave me hope.  Then the bread came, I let Joel have a little bit. (didn't want to give him a lot because he fills up and then wont eat his dinner) he threw a fit when he wanted more. Angie kept pulling the place mats out from under me, spilling my water all over the table, which made Joel freak out when he got water on him.  trying to eat was nearly impossible while managing feeding both kids.. I was encouraging Joel to feed himself.. which hes perfectly capable of, but he wasn't having it tonight, he wanted to be fed. His few attempts of feeding himself resulted of him brushing his hair with spaghetti and sauce...  I maybe ate 1/4 of my  meal before throwing in the towel.  the booster seat  was a nightmare.. I wound up having to take it away, which freed him up.. he wanted to dance while standing on the seat.. and yell at the top of his lungs.. "tideeeey - ooooooooooo, tideyyyyy ooooooo"   (a song from his music therapy class)  ::sigh::  that was our cue to leave.. so I got our dinners to go, then struggled to get back to the car, while carrying Angie, holding 2 dinners, my purse, my camera, and holding Joel's hand across a busy street. .. just one of those days... :o/    it ended good though, they were both covered in spaghetti sauce so I gave them both tubs.. then played with them after for a while.. it was good quality time *much needed after the day we had.* filled with lots of snuggles with both my babies. Their now sleeping soundly.  ::sigh:: hoping tomorrow is a little better.. even tho its our crazy day... 9am-5pm therapy.. back and forth from the center 4 times... 1 hr break for lunch... ::sigh::  i hope Joel is feeling better tomorrow.. One can hope anyway! So I said in a previous post I was going to try to end things on a good note.. something positive..  This week I kinda just want to brag.  I'm not sure if your aware of a facebook page called "the cutekid"  but it's a pretty big page (with over 500k likes)  and they have a cute kid contest every month.  Well I entered my kids in their October contest, and WE WON!!!  out of over 4,000 entries, my kids got picked as the cutest kids!!  their photos is currently The CuteKids' main facebook photo, we won a $100 gift card to toys r us as well!   I was one proud momma!!!  :o)  will share photos below! Goodnight.

this is the photo that won the cute kid contest!!

 

 

below are just a few of our recent boutique modeling photos, to cute to not share! Rudolph/abominable snowman!! 

 

 

MY FAV PIC FROM THE DAY BELOW!!!  HOW SWEET IS THIS!!!